Hello and welcome to “Fuck This Guy” a new series that we at Ink & Bourbon are pleased to bring you. This will update weekly, unless we really feel the need to post more often, which seems likely.
For our inaugural entry, I have selected Tea Party darling and possible GOP Presidential candidate, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.
Walker was elected in 2010 as part of the Tea Party wave. He won on promises to focus on jobs and fighting Big Government.
Now, fair enough. I totally understand why people would be in favor of smaller, less intrusive government that focused on improving their economic well being.
Let’s see how he’s doing.
On smaller, less intrusive government:
Well, he did return 36 million in federal grants to set up health care exchanges, so I…guess that’s getting government out of our business.
Oh, but then he signed a law to force women seeking abortions (which are legal, by the way) to submit to a trans-vaginal ultrasound.
So, we keep federal money out of your business, but we can shove a probe up your business. That’s less intrusive.
Oh, yeah, and a little video for all those Tea Party tin foil hat aficionados who worry about government Jackbooted Thugs but love them some Walker.
Classy. Arresting a Marine Corps vet and trampling his flag, violating rights to free speech and assembly, and trying to seize a camera from a bystander. If this happened in Washington at a Tea Party rally, every Republican in America would be howling for Obama’s impeachment. But this is ok.
Alright, so maybe he has to unleash the stormtroopers to counter those Union thug sympathizers like teachers and firefighters, and we can’t let women decide what gets shoved up their ladyparts, that would be madness. But he’s been good for the economy, right?
But the remaining jobs are better, right?
What? Wages falling at twice the national average?
Ok, ok, that must be left over from the days where Union thugs artificially inflated wages. Now that the huge burden of living wages and health and safety regulation have been lifted, businesses must be flocking to the state, and the economic boom will lift all boats. Yea, Reaganomics!
Oh, what the fuck? I mean what the fucking fuck?
So, small government means no cash for health care, but they can still arrest you for protesting and desecrate the flag. It’s ok to violate the First Amendment so long as you stay away from the Second, and nonconsentual twat-wanding is not intrusive government overreach, but safeguarding our most vulnerable citizens.
So, fuck this guy. Fuck everybody who voted for him, and a big tall glass of fuck for anybody who suggests this douchebag run for President in 2016.